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Have you ever said, "If only" I had to do it over again?
Because no one is perfect but our Lord, we all have had regrets. We all have made bad choices, said foolish things, wasted time, and hurt ourselves and others. Though there are consequences to our bad actions, how do we release our regrets when we have done all we know to do in the natural? Let me first address what doesn't work.
Don't try burying them.
Trying to bury your past doesn't work. Like creatures from a horror movie, unresolved regrets come back to haunt us.
Don't try to minimize them.
Like saying, "Oh, it is no big deal."
Don't try to rationalize them.
Like, "Oh, everyone does it."
Don't try to compromise.
Lowering your standards are ways we try to bury our regrets.
Don't Blame others.
This tactic is as old as Adam and Eve. When Adam sinned, he took it like a man - he blamed his wife! We use blame to balance out our guilt and shame.
Don't beat yourself.
We try to pay for our guilt unconsciously through illness, depression, setting ourselves up for failure, and forms of self-punishment. The problem with beating yourself over your regrets is you don't know when to stop. Many spend their entire lives in self-condemnation.
What does God want me to do with my regrets?
One is to admit my guilt. Own up to it and don't try to make excuses. From the Living Bible, Prov. 28:13 says, "A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance."
Secondly, accept Christ's forgiveness. Rom. 8:1 says, "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
Thirdly, forgive yourself and focus on the future. Isa. 43:18, 19 says, "The Lord says, do not cling to the events or dwell on what happened long ago. Watch for the new thing I am going to do."
Pastor Roger Velasquez
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Shekinah Fellowship Church